黑白的生活好难受

嫉妒渴望有哪么一种生活，但是它却离我好遥远。只能在电视上才可以看到那种生活。 累了好想放下一切离这个世界而去但却没有哪个勇气。 做人难啊！ 真的不知道是因为我不知足，还是真的我的人生真的没有意义。要走的还是会走得，但是谁会为了那么一个我停下脚步能？

What matters most is all of us are happy

Had being neglecting this space of mind. Something big happen to me yesterday which changes my life a lot. The person who are reading it, if you think it's childish to be complaining here, You can just get out of this web page. Don't need to comment on it.

From a stranger, we become friend, to close friend and even we can say we treat each others like sister. But as time goes by, things changes. We are back to stranger where we can even ask each other to Fuck off from each other life. She say I had change, while I say she has change. But who really changes first, I'm not very sure. Maybe it's was me but I dint realize. But I'm very sure it's not because of my bf. Because way long ago, our friendship had turn sour. Just base on reading each year birthday letter u wrote to me u will know. The trust wasn't there. Since our friendship can never be salvage again and you think that I'm a bad friend who make use of you, forcing you to do things u don't like, create stories, a friend who say bad thing behinds your back. 你把我对你的友情说到一文不值. Thanks for telling me that. Now I know how much you don't like me. My conscience is clear, I know how I treat you as a friend can already. I'm glad this thing happen afterall, although I lost 1 bestfriend but at least everything is clear. And those misunderstand I had with bel was clarified, thank to her.

Have being neglecting this blog for quite a long time. Sigh.

人心难测阿！真不懂为何有些人在你的面前会说好话，但在你的背后不断地说你的坏话。不喜欢一个人就不要在他的面前做好人拉！


Hopefully one day everything will goes as what I think!

Regretted

I’m back from Ubin!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just got back from OBS camp that was organised by OCBC. Sigh! Every time I went for camp, i kept telling myself that, 'hey, one day I shall become one of the instructor also.' But ended up I'm working in OCBC. Sigh! It's just so not my type! I love outdoor activities so much but I'm kept inside an office working.... Sigh ):

After I came back from the camp, the first things i do was to go to OBS website to look at the job opportunity. I look through everything and I came to a point that I'm sure I will not get selected. Why bother to embarrass yourself by going for the trail? I give up the idea of it but seriously I know as time pass I'll regret for making this decision.

I love the way the instructor motivate the students by relating the activities that they had done which might make a great impact in their life. I love doing outdoor activities and most of all, interacting with different people. Which I felt that it a job I'll love and will never ever quit it. I saw this quote at OBS website, " find a job you love it and you'll never work a day in your life" which I totally agree with it.

Sigh. But I just got a feeling that I'll never even make it as an instructors as there is much more outstanding and experience instructor compare to me. Right now, I can't even overcome this fear which I felt I don't even deserve to be one at all.

I'm crying badly right now because I’d just give up a dream that I had long for.

LIAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm tired of telling lies to maintain our relationship. And I'm sick of hearing lies from you !

Money

I just need 1 note of this for the time being....

There are so many things that I wanna buy. Sigh ! When can I buy all the things I wants?????????

Things to buy:

• Polaroid camera
• Iphone
• Bag
• Go to bangkok
  
• Digital Camera

And lots of things which I can remember right now ! Sigh ! Money I need you badly !

Awesome trip with awesome people (:

Took this while on the way to malaysia custom.